The Sri Lankan Parliament has decided to go full “Wild West,” issuing two 12-bore repeater guns to each of its 225 MPs—because, you know, nothing says “democratic process” like a couple of shotguns to back up your debates! Now, don’t get too worried; they still get to keep their pistols, just in case the repeaters aren’t enough to emphasize a particularly strong point in a heated argument.
Apparently, the decision came after a “threat assessment” by intelligence units, which I can only imagine involved some seriously intense PowerPoint presentations. The Ministry of Defence thinks these guns are just the thing to keep our MPs safe during election times and any post-election “celebrations” that might get a little out of hand.
The Parliament’s General Secretary even thoughtfully provided a price list for the guns—starting at a very precise Rs. 258,218.36. Clearly, every Rupee counts when it comes to defending democracy! And don’t forget the annual firearms license fee of Rs. 200 and an extra Rs. 500 for the ammo license—because, hey, if you’re going to bring firepower to the political arena, you better do it by the book.
Interestingly, SLPP MP SB Dissanayake has already bowed out of this shopping spree, citing “a lack of funds.” We can only hope that his political arguments remain sharp enough to compensate for the absence of firepower
